Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Saturday, November 8, 2008

High School is Crippling my Writing Abilities

I have just now realized how much I fucking hate writing essays, papers and responses for high school. I love the art of writing itself, however I hate the bureaucratic bullshit high schools use for their assignments. I've wanted to skullfuck myself with a DRILL because of how many consecutive responses I've had to write in Short Stories that all start like this (This rant in general applies to every piece of writing I've done in High School except for Theology)

*Insert Title* by *Insert Author* shows how *some way humans fuck up* in *society/theworld/politics
/morals*.

And ends like this:

People in *society/the world/politics/morals fuck up* a lot, but *are unaware/aware/disgreard* and if we want to *improve/advance society* we must *insert inspirational bullshit*.

It was okay at first, but after ten I lost the goddamn drive to keep writing them. I was actually told on my first response (although I wasn't penalized for it) that I shouldn't have made a joke in a story analysis. Let me make this clear, I was being told I could NOT PROPERLY EXPRESS MYSELF IN MY WRITING. I don't care if it's an analysis, George Carlin was an analyst solely with jokes, so is Lewis Black, Carlos Mencia, Jeff Dunham and every other damn comedian.

I'm fucking sick of guidelines. First we need to have a thesis right at the damn beginning, well what if I can 't start the essay with a thesis without it sounding like shit? "Rewrite it." Fuck you. Then they put the writing MAXIMUM amount. Minimum, I understand, but MAXIMUM? Okay then, i'll just limit my creative abilities so that you get paid for less work, yeah that's fine. If I write a goddamn 10 page paper when I only could have 7, that SHOULD SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY WRITING ABILITIES. Although they'd probably write it off as filler. And then we come to our last and most frequent culprit, the double-fucking-space. I'll be honest, I hate doublespace. Sure it makes it easier to write, but I can write singlespace perfectly fine and reach the requirements, I've written 30 pages of a story single space in one sitting before, 2 page doublespaced is a joke to me. I highly doubt you'd be told to use double-space in ANYTHING professional, but yet again it's another thing that makes the teachers job easier. So far, the only teacher to break that is my religion teacher who has the balls to look at something with single-spaced typing. When I look at something double-spaced I've written I look at all the blank dead space and cringe, realizing that the last time I got to use single-spaced was in GRAMMAR SCHOOL.

From now on, I'm going to be writing ALL assignments that utilize "creative" writing in my way. Fuck their limitations, they're bureaucratic thesis placement and all that bs. I refuse to sacrifice my writing skills to make someone's job easier.

I am disgusted by my school and the USA.

Today absolutely disgusted me, I couldn't go 2 fucking feet in my school without some asshole complaining about the "Socialist Nigger" or "Communist Darkie". Sure there were jokes that everyone made, I made a couple of them, but the sheer amount of legitimate racism today offended me. Not even just the Rich White fucks who complain about Obama's race and plan, but the black kids who seem to think this country will get better because he's black. He's black, we fucking get it, why not pay attention to his political party, intelligence, manner of speaking or SOMETHING other than the fact that his skin pigmentation is darker than most kids in Westchester, that's for everyone in the school. I was about ready to kill the next person that said "Might as well embrace Mother Russia now..." or "WE IN DA HOUSE BITCHES!". I shit you not I heard people say that in complete seriousness. I don't give a fuck that Obama's black because in the broad view, it's pathetic we're that excited about that. Sure it's great we broke through those social barriers, but it took 44 presidents and more than a century after racism ended to just get to the point where it's "acceptable". I understand it's still an important milestone, but FUCKING COME ON.

I didn't root for Obama for any racial equality bullshit, I supported him because nobody wants a clone of bush who apparently isn't him despite having the same fundamental policies and because there was no way in hell I'd want Sarah Palin anywhere near the office. And because he isn't immature, picking at the tiniest of details like McCain who decided he'd focus on tire air maintenance in the entirety of Obama's energy plan, he sees that our "tried and true" methods will not work longterm, and he has the balls to admit that he may not completely succeed. Admitting fallibility is something only true intelligent people can do.

His race has NOTHING to do with his future success or failure, so shut the fuck up you assholes, and shut the fuck up the entire goddamned United States. You all make me sick.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Fuck the Jonas Brothers (Music)

Now, let me put this forward now. I do not hate the Jonas Brothers, I hate their music and their influence, but I have nothing against them as people. For all I know, if given time to make their OWN music WITHOUT Disney's influence, they might be able to make some decent songs. And keep in mind that this rant is made entirely focusing on that which surrounds the boys, not the boys as people, but as musicians. However, that's neither here nor there, onto the rant!

Now, the first thing about these is Joe Jonas, the vocalist. Now, many fangirls think that his voice is amazing and has so much emotion, what that really is, is him straining his vocal chords to try and reach a high pitch. That heavy breathing you hear in his singing? That's his struggling, how do I know? I do the same thing if I try and hit a pitch that's too high. So, Joe Jonas should either sing in his natural voice, or getting vocal instruction. There are so many singers who far surpass him in not just talent, but discipline. This isn't an opinion, this is a FACT. I'm not saying he's bad, but he's certainly not amazing.

Next, onto Nick and Paul Jonas, the guitarists. I'm saying this now, these boys are not necessarily hacks, but they're inexperienced and way in over their heads. You could make the argument that they're just using simplistic guitar playing, a la Green Day and Blink-182. However, Billie Armstrong is an incredibly talented guitarist whether he shows it or not, listen to the song The Judges Daughter, in it there's a solo that proves his skill. As for Tom DeLonge, well I don't really know the extent of his talent, but he is certainly able to right lyrics you can enjoy as well as riffs that actually mesh well.

This brings me to my second point, whenever "The Bros" try and use something other than chords, they go the way of simple riffs. I applaud them for this as it's good to see them at least trying, however, their riffs don't usually mesh well with whatever Joe is singing.

Now getting more technical, they are not properly utilizing their equipment. Their guitar's tones are often way too trebley and "strangled" if you will. It's a rather unpleasant sound to someone who plays guitar. And they're constantly switching guitar types! Unless the song REQUIRES a different tone, that's completely unnecessary. Let's say they need a deeper, warm tone. They should stick to their Les Pauls and set their amps right, let's say they need a brighter tone, Nick has a Les Paul with single-coil P90 pickups, those could easily produce the right tone. But no, they switch out so they can show off and keep your focus off their lack of skill, and on how pretty their guitars are.

Now, the last part of their music, the lyrics. Now, before I go on about how childish and silly their lyrics are, I am saying now that I do not claim to be a good lyricist. I have written a few decent songs, but the wording still irks me as I feel it doesn't properly convey the message. It sounds like they basically wrote an essay about a girl, separated it into Verses and Choruses and made the last words rhyme. There's nothing that catches my attention, no words above a 5th graders understanding which CAN be bad, and most of all it's the same fucking thing over and over. There is a limit to how many songs you can right about a girl before it gets ridiculous. They lack depth, complexity and they all follow the same melody, and when it breaks away from the usual boring strained melody, it's just a rip of something by Aerosmith or the like.

Now here's the thing that bugs me the most. Honestly, if you like them, that's fine, it's your choice, what makes you happy as long as it doesn't put you in danger or harm you is fine by me, live and let live. But, so many girls seem to like them because their hot, okay, you find them attractive. Again, fine by me, have fun fantasizing. But that doesn't matter when it comes to their music. A person can be the most gorgeous thing to wrap their fingers around a guitar, but that doesn't matter if they can't play. They're musicians, not models, you should listen to something because it sounds good, not because of how they look. Because really, looks matter very little when you're listening to a CD where you can't see then. Unless you stare at a picture of them while you listen which is just a tad creepy.

And to end this rant, the very last section. Their influence. Fine, take away the rest of what I've said, say I'm wrong, but this is indisputable and anyone who thinks this is wrong is a fucking twit, not excluding my own family and friends. They are contributing to the assholes who are soiling genres. Nowhere should the words Rock and Jonas Brothers ever come together. They are a Pop band with guitars in it, nothing more. They do not have the talent and melodic capabilities to be considered a rock band, or even a pop rock band. And no I'm not fucking jealous, I wasn't jealous of them before I met my girlfriend and I'm certainly not jealous now that I'm with her. I'm not jealous of their talent because I could play circles around Nick and Kevin and I'm not even that skilled yet. They cause people to think that their recycled, boring and edited-up-the-asshole-with-a-tree "music" is Rock.

And to be honest, if you're a Jonas Brothers fan you've probably stopped reading about 1/8th of the way through and are currently writing me a hate mail.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Kurt Cobain: Mediocre An Hero

There are two kinds of people in the world. People who cum every time they hear smells like teen spirit, and people who's ears start to bleed. Then there's the creepy sub-human fanboys/girls/things who still think that man is the shit despite him not knowing anything more complex than chords. Then they try and say his lyrics are amazing, when really they were probably just ramblings he scribbled on a dirty napkin when he was high off his ass. Kurt Cobain is probably one of the most over-rated morons in the history of druggies. Yes druggies as he was probably better at tolerating drugs than he was at playing guitar or "singing" if that's what you'd like to call it. Personally it sounds like he's trying to sing after recieving a particularly bad concussion that also causes him to forget how to shower.

I'm going a bit too far though, Kurt Cobain wasn't that bad, but he wasn't good. He was mediocre at best and we'd probably would have forgotten about him by now if he hadn't offed himself. Or if you're one of those hyper-sensitive fans, "was killed by Courtney Love". Frankly, I don't know which one it was, but suicide seems like a much more fitting end for that dick. However, that's neither here nor there (although he was a still a douche). His songs all sound the same which gets boring when it's the same lack-luster droning, until of course he tries to apparently destroy his vocal chords by screaming somewhat, but let's talk about the rest of Nirvana shall we? Krist Novawhogivesafuck is possibly the least talented bassist to ever exist, case in point, most can't remember his name. Dave Grohl, however, was probably the most talented member in the band as he was a pretty good drummer and proved himself to be a good guitarist and better vocalist than Cobain. Not to mention his lyrics are actually coherent. But enough of my love of Dave Grohl AKA God Jr. Did I say that? Well look at the man he looks like a more beastly version of Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ!

Now onto how big an asshole Kurt Cobain was. Does anyone know the story behind Smells Like Teen Spirit's creation? Well basically Kurt made the opening "riff" as Wikipedia would have us believe and the chorus melody and brought it to the band. They didn't like it, so Kurt made them play it over and over without stop for 1 1/2 hours. 1 and a fucking half hours wasted because Kurt was a whiny bitch who didn't get his way. Oh sure eventually they liked it, but when something's forced into your skull for almost 2 hours straight you either hate it or learn to tolerate it to stop the agony.

Really the best thing Kurt ever did for his bandmates was die. First of all, it kept Nirvana out there so Grohl wouldn't be forgotten (meanwhile Krist was left on the side of the road like a creepy hitch-hiker). Secondly, it paved the way for Grohl to have an easy path to get the Foo Fighters into the mainstream. So congratulations Kurt, you did something good afterall.

And if the man was so fucking great how'd Courtney Love convince people at his own FUNERAL to chant asshole?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Fuck Hannah Bond (A Controversial Start)

Well let's see, after this I'm probably either going to be hailed as a god or sued by her family. Either way, I hate Hannah Bond with a passion. This story is a couple months old, so must everyone knows it by now. However, for those of you who have the fortune of not knowing who she is I'll tell you. She was a 13-year old girl who "tragically" killed herself by hanging. She was a member of some bullshit-oh I'm sorry, HORRENDOUS, EMO SUICIDE CULT. They apparently wanted to kill themselves to join the "Black Parade".

Dumb bitch.

Although, I should thank her, for offing herself she's effectively removed herself from the gene pool. But, now it's time to break this down.

Firstly, they couldn't be an Emo cult, because Emo's a genre, a DEAD genre. I'll have another rant about this shortly. Next, she's a fucking twit to think suicide is "glamorous", yes, GLAMOROUS. Oh Christ, yes! Killing ourselves is OBVIOUSLY the next Louis Fucking Vuitton. Also, The Black Parade? What. The. Fuck. Gerard stated that that is only his IDEA of how death could come to someone, and when the fuck did he ever say kill yourself?! He promotes ANTI-suicide for Christ's sake! He wrote a goddamn song about NOT killing yourself!

Okay, moving on to the next point of why she's a dumbass failure at life (and probably death too, BAHAHAHAHA). Her actions caused a shit-storm to surround both the genre, NOT TERM, Emo as well as the band My Chemical Romance. Now, I personally hate her for this as one, Emo is DEAD and two, MCR gets enough shit tossed at them without some an hero killing themselves and quoting their CD's name. Way to go, you HURT the band you liked Hannah.

Now, some of you are going to hate me for this and say I'm shallow, that's fucking FINE BY ME. But you know what? Besides all the stuff I've said, there's another reason she's a bitch.

Hannah Bond was a selfish cunt.

She had no reason to be depressed as far as we're told, she was a 13-year old girl with a loving family, and she KILLS HERSELF BECAUSE SHE THINKS ITS GLAMOROUS?! If she had a disorder, I could understand, if she's had a shitty life, I could understand. But not some bitch who took her life and did nothing but hurt other people by doing so. The band she liked, her friends and her family. Her mom and dad, losing their daughter after only 13 years, and why? Because she was a moron.

Fuck you Hannah Bond, you shouldn't have been born.